For My Daughter
It’s my first Mother’s Day today. You’re sleeping happily in the crook of my arm, with a full belly of milk. Little butterfly smiles keep creeping across your face as you sleep, and once in a while you startle and crane your neck up and purse your lips and raise your eyebrows like you’ve just seen something amazing. There are a million of these little moments I hope I’ll remember someday when it’s my 40th Mother’s Day.
We planted a Juniper tree in our backyard today (with my placenta buried beneath it to help nourish it as it once nourished you.) I hope this tree grows healthy and strong and tall throughout the years as you do.
I have so many hopes for you, my darling 3 month old. I hope you grow up to be adventurous and considerate and honest and, most of all, kind. I hope you travel often and resist gossiping and learn how to really listen, because it’s one of the best gifts you can give yourself and others. I hope you devour books and speak up and follow your curiosities, no matter how silly they seem. I hope you love with your whole heart and let yourself make mistakes and aren’t too hard with yourself.
Becoming your mama is the greatest joy of my life so far. This love I have for you is selfless and vast and ever expanding. You could never do anything to lose it. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and the easiest thing in the world, and it makes me better every day.
Thank you for letting me be your mama. I will always love you. I will always be here. You will always be safe with me.
– Your Mama